Stop Tom Cruise

Reason #1 Tom Cruise must be stopped:

He is hiding in the closet and he won't come out.

There is nothing particularly wrong with hiding in the closet. Or refusing to come out. People enter and exit closets for their own reasons and in their own ways all over the world, and really, who are we to judge?

But hiding in the closet and refusing to come out while simultaneously using a strange and culty religion to camoflauge your location in the closet, AND while imposing your insane, fringe views on the American public from your location in the closet like some crazy Wizard of Oz ("pay no attention to the man in the closet!"), AND while suing the creators of South Park for merely pointing out your obvious location in the closet - that goes too far. That's just glib.

There are many, many other things Tom Cruise does from his location in the closet that need to be discussed, but for now, this is just the first and most obvious reason why Tom Cruise must be stopped.